How to give a blowjob? Easy enough, right? Not necessarily. Blowjobs, oral sex, fellatio – call it whatever you want, but for gay men, a good blowjob can often be the star of the show. Either as an appetizer for things to come, or as the main event: do it well and your partner will thank you forever.
Some believe gay men are automatically good at giving head, because they have a penis, so they supposedly know what feels good. But don’t let that fool you – just because you know what feels good TO YOU, doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll know what to do when you go down on someone else.
So, whether you’re a beginner or an expert, one can always learn new tricks. We’ve asked around, used personal experience, scoured the internet… and came up with the ultimate list of tips for a good blowjob. Have Fun!
1. Do It Like You Mean It
The first step in learning how to give a blowjob – Don’t treat it like it’s only the first course ahead of the “better” dish. Even if you’re planning to have anal sex later, and more-so if you’re only doing oral sex this time, you need to be INTO it – otherwise it shows.
Treat your partner’s dick like it’s the only thing in the world right now. Moan, and groan, show you’re eager, let him hear you’re enjoying this – it makes all the difference.
2. There’s A Reason It’s Called Sucking
Taking a cock in your mouth can be a lot of fun (for both parties), but sometimes you’re so excited at actually having it there, you might forget the actual sucking part.
It’s not enough to just take it in – clamp down with your lips and start sucking. You know HOW to do it, you’ve had lollipops in your life, you’ve had Ice Pops, hey, you might have even sucked on your thumb at one point. So it’s time to use that expertise again.
3. No Teeth!
Sounds obvious, right? But it’s not, because it’s not just about biting. Of course you know not to bite your partner’s marvelous penis, but if you’re not careful, and if you clamp your mouth down too much, you might accidentally grind him with your upper teeth, which is painful and no fun at all.
One suggestion is to curl your lips over your teeth. Another option is to slide your tongue over your teeth, so it serves as a soft, warm wall.
4. Go Deep Or Go Home
When you’re pleasuring yourself, you’re paying attention to the whole length of your cock, right? So the same applies when you’re giving head – you can’t limit your attention to the, well, head.
If you can actually deep-throat and take his dick all the way in – you’re on your way to learning how to give a blowjob like an expert. If he’s particularly big, you can try different angles (on your knees in front of him looks hot in porn – and by all means give it a go – but unfortunately it’s not a very good position for deep-throating) –
- Let him lie down on his back, with you coming from above but at an angle
- Lie down on your back, with your head hanging off the bed, and let him slide his dick slowly into your mouth and throat. Hey, some things that work in porn do work in real life.
5. Fake It ‘Till You Make It
Can’t take it all in? Don’t force it (unless you’re both into that, of course) – there are ways to “fake” deep-throating.
First, moisten your hand (with saliva or lube), and grab the base of his cock. Then cover the upper part with your mouth, so there’s no empty space between your lips and your hand – and start moving both your mouth and your hand in a rhythmic motion.
Another little trick is to let the tip of his cock occasionally touch the roof of your mouth, which, let’s face it, feels pretty similar to the back of your throat.
Congratulations, you’ve created the illusion of deep-throating. Just don’t forget to…
6. Use Your Tongue
God gave you a tongue for a reason – use it! Good oral sex is not just about the sucking, it’s about using everything you’ve got to touch his penis in different ways.
First there’s the licking, of course – remember to take his cock out of your mouth occasionally, and lick the entire length of the shaft. But even when it’s in your mouth, keep using your tongue – swirl it around, bop it away, push and pull – set your tongue loose on his dick, and it’ll add an important spice to the rhythm and the sucking.
7. Use Your Eyes
Yes, your eyes – not for the actual blowjob, but for eye contact. Depending on your position, if you can look up and make eye contact with him while his cock is in your mouth, it’ll make him feel good. There’s a reason they do it often in gay porn.
8. Keep It Wet
Keeping his cock wet will benefit both you AND him – sucking a dry cock is no fun. If you have good control over your saliva, use that. If you feel he’s still too dry while you’re going up and down, you can also use lube.
There are flavored lubes out there – some like them a lot, some not so much (I don’t want strawberry flavor, I want cock flavor, stop distracting me!) – but if you’re going to use regular lube, give it a quick taste first. Some have a very neutral taste which makes them good for blowjobs, while others will make you sick…
9. The Wet-Dry-Wet Effect
While you don’t want his cock to stay dry, the act of getting it wet can be fun – going down on a dry penis with a wet, warm mouth feels great. So occasionally you can pull him out and start blowing air on his cock. That in itself can feel nice, but then, once his dick is somewhat dry, go back down on it with a lot of saliva. The contrast will drive him wild.
10. Alternate Speeds
A good blowjob is all about variety – going deep for a while, then just the head, then using only your tongue… And changing speeds is part of it: when you’re going up and down, you can start slowly (which will be easier on your throat as well), then bop up and down fast and quick, then slow again… Keep surprising him!
11. Don’t Forget The Lips
You can – and should – use your lips in a variety of ways. They’re there for tightening the grip on his cock, of course, but you can get more creative. For example, pull it out, hold the base and rub the head of his cock over your wet lips. Move them around the head, sucking very lightly. Rub his shaft up and down using only your lips. Kiss it all over. Get experimental!
12. Don’t Forget The Balls
When you learn how to give a blowjob, you need to remember it’s not just about the dick. Giving some attention to his balls is super-important, you just have to get a feel for what he likes, because it changes from man to man.
Some love it when you suck and lick their balls, while others are too sensitive down there and find it distracting. Many love it when you cup and squeeze their balls (not too tight though), and squeezing the balls at the exact moment of orgasm can really push things up to 11.
13. Play The Hot-Cold Game
Your mouth is hot, yes, but it CAN get hotter. How? With a cup of tea, for example. But how about making it colder first, with an ice cube?
Sliding an ice-cube into your mouth can work wonders. If you’re comfortable (and it’s not the middle of winter), you can try to actually suck his cock WITH the ice-cube in your mouth. Otherwise, you can at least suck on the ice a little, cool your mouth, THEN go down on him.
Next, take a sip of that warm water (or even better, tea) – the alternating sensations of hot and cold will drive him crazy.
14. 69 Can Be Fun… For A While
69 (with both of you sucking each other at the same time) is another example of something that looks great in porn, but isn’t always that convenient in real life.
For one, it’s distracting – you want to pay attention to his cock, and that’s a bit hard to do with a mouth on YOUR cock. Plus, positions are limited when you’re 69ing, and you might not be in a position fit for deep-throating, for example.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t give it a try – it can be a lot of fun, giving and receiving at the same time, I just wouldn’t turn it into the main event, as each of you deserves proper attention.
15. Swallow! (Or at least… start to)
The worst thing in the world is to pull out and let him climax into thin air. Imagine masturbating, only to pull your hands off right when you’re about to cum. Awful!
When he’s really close to the end (which, if you know him well enough, you’ll sense – otherwise you can ask him to TELL you when he’s close) that’s the moment to give it all – go fast, go hard, use your tongue and suck for all you’re worth.
When he actually starts cumming, though, you have several options:
- Swallow – hey, protein is good for you! Plus, even if you don’t like the taste, swallowing quickly is actually better than keeping it in your mouth.
- Keep it in your mouth, then spit it out – If you really don’t want to swallow his sperm, keep sucking and let him cum in your mouth, but keep it there. Once he’s done, pull out and spit it out – but do it discreetly. No “Yuck, your cum is in my mouth!!” moments, please.
- Pull out – but KEEP USING YOUR HANDS! If you really can’t stand the taste of cum, then pull out, but remember to keep rubbing his shaft with your wet hands until he’s done!
Of course, sometimes it’s fun to cum in and on different places (as gay porn often teaches us), so by all means, experiment – just don’t leave him hanging. (And try NOT to get any cum in your eyes – it burns…)
16. Know When To Stop
This part really changes among different men. Once the climax is done, some love it when you keep their cock in your mouth for a bit, or at least keep rubbing it slowly. Others become too sensitive very quickly, and can’t stand even the slightest touch. Feel – or ask – what’s best for your partner.
17. Have Fun!
Sure, tips on how to give a blowjob are important, and there are always ways to perfect your technique. But above all, you need to remember blowjobs (and sex in general) should BE FUN! If you’re thinking TOO MUCH on how you could be doing it better – then you’re doing it wrong.